Funny is Better

Sam was quite difficult today. He threw a fit that lasted one and a half hours because he didn't want to say "please" and "I'm sorry". At the end of the day, I'd rather think about the times he made me laugh this week.

Sam had chicken, carrots, and grapes for dinner tonight. He ate all of the carrots, most of the grapes, and hardly any of the chicken.
Sam: How many more bites do I have to eat?
Me: Six bites of chicken.
Sam: But grapes are foodier.

Chris went out of town on business this week. He was prepping Sam the night before.
Chris: I'm not going to be here tomorrow night. You need to be good and mind Momma. Momma will help you get ready for bed and read your books.
Sam: Why aren't you going to be here?
Chris: Because I have a job to do.
Sam: Why?
Chris: Because I have to make money.
Sam: Why?
(etc. etc.)
The next night Sam and I were eating dinner, when he asks ...
Sam: Is Daddy still in the money town?
Me: Yes.
Sam: And we're in the home town?
Me: Yes
Sam: I love him. Let's go make him a card.

I found Sam in the dining room, in the dark, talking to Cleo, and pointing at the alarm keypad. The light was red because the alarm was armed.
Sam: When the light turns green the house is going to take off.
Me: Sam, what do you mean "the house is going to take off"?
Sam: The balloons will come out and the house will take off. (like in the movie Up)

Sam was playing in the backyard today. He ran around the side of the house, and when he came running back screamed ...
MUDCRACKER!